A year in an apartment- extended

   

      So here we are.  Back in San Antonio.  In an apartment.  The apartment search was rough.  We looked at over 25 apartments, driving all around the San Antonio area, acting like an episode of "House Hunters", my husband even jokingly said we couldn't make a decision because we didn't have a glass of wine while we were discussing the different pros and cons.  We finally settled on an apartment that was central to our wants and needs.  We know this area, in fact my first apartment is about 5 miles from us.
     The first couple of weeks is always a flurry of things to do, unpack, figure out where everything will go, adjusting to new light switches (I had just gotten used to the closet light switch being on the inside and now it is on the outside), changing addresses on accounts, and buying things for the apartment, because each place has its own needs.
      Now the quiet descends.  My husband has weird work hours right now, and adjusting to a different routine is not his strong suit.  He likes having me here when he leaves and when he gets home, and has asked me not to look for a job until things settle down and/or after our vacation to Colorado at the end of July.  That is a long time for me to not have anything to do.  I thought it would be super hard to find something to do all day, but I have found it is quite easy to waste the day away, Facebook, Pinterest, reruns of my favorite shows.  I sometimes feel guilty that I have all this time, and I should be reading my upteen books I haven't read, I should be meditating, doing something constructive, but then I realize I am doing something constructive, just by being here and because I am not in a frenzy of having so much to do, I notice things more, I acknowledge things, people, plants, etc.
     The other day I was at the grocery store and I noticed an elderly gentleman on a bench.  I stopped and smiled at him and he smiled back.  It was so simple, but it was an acknowledgement of his existence.  There are so many times I have been in a hurry that I did not realize what was happening around me.  It is so easy for me to get caught up in my mindless thoughts that I forget to think, see, hear, breathe.  I have also noticed in my mindless thinking that stray memories are popping into my head of times when I got mad about things that did not really matter.  As the memories came up, I silently said the Ho'oponopono prayer, "I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you."  I've even giggled out loud sometimes as these memories pop into my head, and my husband will go "What is so funny?" and I just laugh and say, "Oh just a silly memory popping up in my head."  So, maybe this down time is not so much for him, but for me.  I will enjoy this time.  I will appreciate that I have been given this opportunity to learn more about myself, about others, and continue on this one of a kind journey.